"Godly Conversations"

2 Corinthians 8:7-15New International Version (NIV)

7 But since you excel in everything—in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in complete earnestness and in the love we have kindled in you—see that you also excel in this grace of giving.

8 I am not commanding you, but I want to test the sincerity of your love by comparing it with the earnestness of others. 9 For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor,so that you through his poverty might become rich.

10 And here is my judgment about what is best for you in this matter. Last year you were the first not only to give but also to have the desire to do so. 11 Now finish the work, so that your eager willingness to do it may be matched by your completion of it, according to your means. 12 For if the willingness is there, the gift is acceptable according to what one has, not according to what one does not have.

13 Our desire is not that others might be relieved while you are hard pressed, but that there might be equality. 14 At the present time your plenty will supply what they need, so that in turn their plenty will supply what you need. The goal is equality, 15 as it is written: “The one who gathered much did not have too much, and the one who gathered little did not have too little.”

On Friday, the Supreme Court made one of the most influential rulings of my lifetime.  I have been asked my opinion on the subject of marriage several times recently and it is a subject that I have wrestled with myself.  The court ruling to allow same-sex marriage has divided many and caused some to wonder where society is headed.  After the announcement of the ruling on Friday, social media was set ablaze with posts, tweets and pictures on both sides of the matter.  Then the angry replies to said posts started pouring in just as quickly.  In an ideal world, we could keep our religious views separate from our political stance.  Conservative or liberal, democrat or republican we use the same book justify our political stance.  The Bible is used to support same-sex marriage while also being used to fight against it.  I don’t care where you stand on this issue, or any other social or political issue for that matter, the only thing that concerns me is the dialogue.  I believe that God does not care where you fall on the political spectrum either.  All I think God is concerned about is how we deal with one another.  And I think Paul hits the nail on the head with our scripture for this morning.  

Our scripture this morning is Paul’s explanation of the “grace of giving.”  Paul is pretty specifically talking about giving in this scripture but how he goes about it just as important as the topic.  How Paul explains his understanding of God’s call to us to give is important because it shows us how we too should discuss such issues.  He is careful and calculated about the words he chooses.  A lesson that should not be lost on us.  He does not use ultimatums or threats.  He does not use God as some sort of trump card.  He explains what he thinks is the best way to give without making you feel obligated, threatened or wrong.  I think it is important for us to carefully examine how Paul went about his explanation because I think it will help us in our dealings with one another.

“But since you excel in everything.... see that you also excel in this grace of giving.”  Paul starts off with a compliment.  He lets the readers/hearers of his words know that he has been paying attention.  He gives them affirmation that they are doing some things well before tweaking their path a bit.  If we are going to have meaningful conversations with one another, it helps if we do our best to start off on the right foot.  If I start a conversation off by telling you that you are completely wrong, how much of what I say after that are you really going to hear?  So the first step is to start the conversation off on the right foot by creating an environment that is open and comfortable.  

“I am not commanding you...”  Paul is not barking orders or giving an ultimatum as he shares with the people of Corinth.  He is sincere in his words and honest about what he is trying to accomplish.  All too often, we use sarcasm or some other means to aid our argument.  Paul is fundamentally changing how the Corinthians approach how they give but does so without them really noticing.  In other words, Paul uses his sincerity and honesty to help him get his point across rather than his authority.  By all accounts, Paul could have commanded the Corinthians to change.  Paul’s words could have been commands instead of encouragements because he had the Godly authority to do so.  Yet, he chose to speak differently.  He chose to speak out of love instead of demands.

“And here is my judgement about what is best for you in this matter.”  First, Paul complimented then he encouraged out of love and now he offers his advice.  Paul now has his readers interested and involved.  It will do us some good remember that there is distance between Paul and the Corinthians and yet he has made them feel that he is right beside them  He has made them feel like he is one of them.  They are now willing and ready to receive Paul’s advice.  We often blurt out our understanding without considering if the hearer is ready to listen.  For example, as a child throws a fit, they are completely irrational.  Their ability to rationalize in the midst of a tantrum is greatly diminished.  They are not ready to hear what you have to say.  If I just stubbed my toe, I am not ready to have a theological discussion because I won’t hear what you say.  We must consider those hearing the words as much as the words themselves.  We place so much emphasis on saying the “right” things that we forget about those hearing what we say.  

“The goal is equality...” Paul concludes with his reasoning for coming to the conclusion he has.  Now that the hearer is tuned into what he is saying, Paul has to make sure that it sticks with them after the conversation concludes.  When having a conversation with someone who has a differing view, do not try to “win” the conversation in the heat of the moment.  Instead, give them something to think about.  Leave the conversation with a question or an open ended statement.  Instead of anger, the person at the other end of the conversation leaves with something to think about.  

It is healthy for us, for our country, for our church to have differing points of view.  There are many things within the realm of politics that has the ability to divide us but it doesn’t have to.  We can disagree about healthcare, education, infrastructure, subsidies, or marriage but we don’t have to be rude and disrespectful to one another because of those issues.  God is not found in a particular political party, nor is found in only one ideology.  God is found in the conversation that exists between people who respect one another simply because the Creator also lived and died for them.  

I will close with a story about my experience at Pleasant Care last week that I hope helps make my point.  I used the same scripture as I did in church last Sunday but I adlib the message to help me learn how to become better at giving sermons.  The heart of both messages was the same.  I told them, like I told you that God is with you no matter what.  At Pleasant Care, the exact same words that I spoke to the crowd created a much different response in two individuals.  A retired Assembly of God pastor was excited about what I said.  In fact, I talked to him for 20 minutes after the service and he thanked me for having such an open understanding of God’s love and grace.  On the other hand, a man named Billy approached me while I was still speaking and told me that God was not with him.  He then asked me to explain how his situation occurred if God was with Him.  It happened in his sleep.  He was angry at me.  He even called my bs right there in front of everyone.  All the while the retired pastor was praising God for what I was saying.  The point here is that circumstances and life experiences matter.  In one point of view, God’s love and grace was abounding while in the other it was no where to be found.  That is why God calls us into relationship with one another.  I sat down with Billy afterwards and told him that I was sorry for what he has gone through.  I let him know that God did not choose that to happen to him.  I told him that if he wanted to talk that I was there.  He was still very upset with what I had said so I told him that I was sorry and left him alone.  Those emotions had built up for several years.  The question of “why me” could not be answered and the frustration needed vented.  This illustrates just how our words can be heard differently than intended.  Words that brought such comfort to one did the opposite to another.  In both cases, God was still present because it allowed me to tell Billy that I cared and that if he ever wanted to talk that I was there.  There is nothing more important or powerful than a simple conversation that is surrounded by understanding rather than judgment.  Amen.