Dealing with Rejection

Mark 6:1-13 New International Version (NIV)

A Prophet Without Honor

6 Jesus left there and went to his hometown, accompanied by his disciples. 2 When the Sabbath came, he began to teach in the synagogue, and many who heard him were amazed.

“Where did this man get these things?” they asked. “What’s this wisdom that has been given him? What are these remarkable miracles he is performing? 3 Isn’t this the carpenter? Isn’t this Mary’s son and the brother of James, Joseph,[a] Judas and Simon? Aren’t his sisters here with us?” And they took offense at him.

4 Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor except in his own town, among his relatives and in his own home.” 5 He could not do any miracles there, except lay his hands ona few sick people and heal them. 6 He was amazed at their lack of faith.

Jesus Sends Out the Twelve

Then Jesus went around teaching from village to village. 7 Calling the Twelve to him, he began to send them out two by two and gave them authority over impure spirits.

8 These were his instructions: “Take nothing for the journey except a staff—no bread, no bag, no money in your belts. 9 Wear sandals but not an extra shirt. 10 Whenever you enter a house, stay there until you leave that town. 11 And if any place will not welcome you or listen to you, leave that place and shake the dust off your feet as a testimony against them.”

12 They went out and preached that people should repent. 13 They drove out many demons and anointed many sick people with oil and healed them.

Through most of my middle school aged years, there was this girl that I liked.  We were the best of friends, and I thought for sure that we would eventually end up as boyfriend and girlfriend.  And yet, she always “went out” with one of my friends. “Going out” is what we called it back then even though as a 10-12-year-old, there is not much to “go out” to.  Each time that relationship would end, I was there to be her friend. I think kids today call it the “friend zone” but that was the reality of my situation. We were friends, and we never became more than that.  Time after time, I was rejected because she said that she “didn’t want to mess up our friendship.” At the time, that was difficult to hear so many times. I didn’t understand it, and that sort of rejection was difficult.  Needless to say, my personality set me up to feel this way many times over as I grew up, so it was good to have so much practice dealing with that sort of rejection growing up.

Many years later, I met a beautiful stranger outside her mother’s restaurant.  After a shaky beginning, we too became friends and started dating. You see, my personality didn’t change.  The way that I approached relationships didn’t change. The only thing that changed was that I finally found someone who loved me for who I was.  

In early 2016, I applied and interviewed for a job with the Iowa State Fair.  It was a job that I did not get. It was the first time that I had applied for a job and didn’t get it.  It took a lot of wind from my sails and all the things that I thought I could accomplish were suddenly in question.  I had this impression that I could take any sort of career path and be successful. I was told that I didn’t fit the job well and that hurt.  Then again in January of 2017, I hesitantly applied for a different position with the Iowa State Fair. As you know, I was lucky enough to get that position.  Now that I know what the first position that I applied for entails, those making the hiring decisions were correct. I don’t know that I would have been a good fit for it and the position where I ended up was a much better fit.  Again, not much about me had changed in those several months between applications. Instead, it was the position that better suited me that had changed.

When facing rejection, we often think that there must be something wrong with us.  It takes several life lessons to realize that perspectives, situations, and relationships either thrive or fall apart due to factors that are really beyond our control.  For example, was there something wrong or different about the message and miracles of Jesus when he entered his hometown? Did he change the core of who he was before entering his own village?  No. The message he was spreading and the miracles he was performing mirrored those in neighboring communities. So why was he received differently in his hometown? He was received differently due to conditions outside his control.  Many people in his native village were still under the impression he was conceived illegitimately, that he was a lowly carpenter, and that his family attended the same synagogue as they did. They knew who he was growing up and the family he came from and instead of embracing him, they rejected him, foreshadowing the end of Jesus’ life for sure.  Jesus was rejected by those who knew him best. The scripture doesn’t go into it much, but I believe that this was somewhat unexpected. He still did what he could despite the naysayers, but the conditions weren’t perfect for Jesus to spread his message. Perhaps Jesus saw this coming and used it as a way to demonstrate to the disciples the rejection that they may face at times.  

Let’s use some statistics from professionals that demonstrate rates of success: Did you know that the average major league baseball player hits only around .260? That means that out of ten at bats they are going to get less than three hits. Over 70% of the time they are either going to strike out, fly out or ground out. And yet, that same average player today makes over 4 million dollars each year and hopes to play for at least 15 - 20 years or more.  The average NBA player only makes about 46% of their shots. Only 5% of all the articles, books or manuscripts that are written get accepted and of that group only around 5% actually get published. And did you know that only around 20% of the people who start college actually finish college in four years?

The truth is life is full of all kinds of rejections, denials, and dismissals. But it is also full of all types of victories, celebrations, and successes. Babe Ruth, one of the greatest hitters of all times hit 714 HRs but did you know that he also struck out over 1,300 times? That means that he nearly struck out nearly twice as many times as he hit a home run and yet baseball history considers him one of the greatest to ever play the game.  The truth is no one bats 1.000.

The key is that we have got to keep on going. We have got to learn how to brush it off and get up and go again. We have got to put everything in its proper perspective and continue to share the message of Jesus. We got to go on living and doing our best to be the best that we can be with God's help.  We can't go it alone, nor should we try. Jesus had the boys with him when he went back home. I am sure that they were a great comfort to him. I am sure that they helped him brush it off and get back on his feet. I am sure that they were there reminding him how much that they cared for him, believed in him and were willing to follow him no matter what the cost.  When Jesus sends out his disciples, he sends them out in teams of two. Friends can help you handle rejection, and we all need friends. Not to make us bitter but to help us brush it all off and get ready for a new day.

We will all face some sort of rejection.  Some will sting more than others. But how we handle it says a lot about us and our faith.  We also have to understand that not every rejection is total rejection. Sometimes the seed is sown, and the Holy Spirit uses it in another season. Sometimes all we are to do is to plant that seed.  What may look like a rejection may eventually turn into something much different than we imagined. Sure, at that moment it may seem incredibly difficult to recover from, but the key is perseverance; perseverance and the realization that it is not always our fault that someone is rejecting us.  Jesus and the disciples didn’t force their message. They did what they could, and then they moved on. Imagine, for a moment, if Jesus would have given up after the masses rejected him and sent him to the cross. What would life be like then? Rejection isn’t always a sign of being wrong, it is often a sign of being misunderstood.  Once we better understand that rejection is less about who we are personally and more about who others may perceive us to be, then we can better serve those around us and spread the Good News.