Fulfilling the Law

Romans 13:8-14New International Version (NIV)

Love Fulfills the Law

8 Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. 9 The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not covet,” and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” 10 Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.

The Day Is Near

11 And do this, understanding the present time: The hour has already come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed.12 The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. 13 Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy.14 Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh.

I have a confession to make this morning.... I never read a parenting book upon the arrival of any of my children.  Parenting a newborn was difficult but Cheyanne and I were always willing to try something new or different to ease whatever was making the baby upset.  For example, the first night we brought Griffin home from the hospital, we swaddled him tight just as we learned in our parenting class.  None of us slept a wink.  He squirmed and fussed all night.  It was brutal.  The next day, we had an in home visit with a nurse from the hospital and told her just how brutal our first night was... as if she couldn’t see it on our faces.  We told her that we swaddled him just like they did at the hospital and she suggested we still swaddle him but to leave his arms out.  My goodness, it worked.  He slept in 3-4 hour increments for the most part after that and life was good.  We experimented with different ways to burp all the kids and figured out how and what they prefered to eat.  It was a process but we eventually would get it figured out so everyone was sleeping and eating.  I often wished for the time that they could tell me what was bothering them.  Now that this time has come, I have realized I don’t need to know every little thing that is bothering them... My confession is this: I didn’t read any parenting books when my kids were newborns but I recently listened to a book called Scream Free Parenting by Hal Runkel.  

In his book, Mr. Runkel explains how, as parents, we sometimes build anxiety when our children refuse to listen.  He further explains that our happiness will quickly fade as this anxiety begins to build.  As parents, we each deal with that anxiety differently but Mr. Runkel made a couple key points that have stuck with me.  His main point is that we must take care of ourselves first.  If we do not take care of ourselves mentally and physically, then it is difficult to expect that out of our children.  Secondly, he explains the lunacy of making our happiness dependant on the actions, and ability to follow directions, of a toddler.  And we must do this without becoming mentally detached.  How rational is it that we place our happiness in the hands of someone who is unable to have a rational thought most of the time?  When Mr. Runkel made this point, a truck hit me in the gut.  Sure, as parents we believe that our children’s behavior is a reflection of how good of parents we truly are.  But let me ask you this, does a child throwing a fit at Wal-Mart catch your attention more than how that parent responds to that behavior?  No.  Wal-Mart is filled with children somewhat misbehaving so we don’t give it much thought.  However, how the parent responds to that behavior is what catches our attention.  

So how does that relate to Paul’s writings that I shared with you this morning?  Paul said that love is the fulfillment of the law.  Not our reaction to being loved or our action to love, simply, love is the fulfillment of the law.  In other words, loving our neighbor, loving all people isn’t based on their reaction to our love.  And if we don’t take care of ourselves in the mental, physical and spiritual realms of life, we will be unable to take care of others.  You see, our happiness and the fulfillment we get out of life and helping others should not reside in how others respond to our willingness to help.  To place our mental well being into the hands of someone else by allowing their reaction to be the key factor in determining our happiness is kind of crazy when we think about it.  Is Mr. Runkel the perfect parent? No.  He openly admits his faults throughout the book which is a relief to know that a children’s psychologist still makes the same mistakes that I make as a parent.  As Paul points out, loving thy neighbor is the law above all others because love does no harm to a neighbor.  If we love them, then we will not do anything that hurts them.  Our love shouldn’t be dependant on how someone reacts to it.  Think about it this way... what if God’s love and wrath was dependant on our actions?  What if God’s love and wrath were dependant on how we treat each other.  I don’t think any of us want that.  

As we move into the latter part of Paul’s writings that I shared with you this morning, we must have a little bit of background on Paul’s beliefs.  Paul was under the impression that Jesus’ return was going to much sooner rather than later.  Or at least his writings give us that impression.  We know that this hasn’t happened just yet but the advice Paul offers in light of Christ’s return is still relevant.  Paul writes, “...our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed.”  This statement is still true.  Each day that passes brings us one day closer to Christ’s return.  This also means that we should “...put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light.”  It seems like such a high standard to live each day as Christ calls us to live but that is our calling, our duty.  It is difficult to live such a way.  God knows this and his mercy, grace and forgiveness allows for mistakes.  You see, I believe His happiness isn’t dependant on you being perfect.  My belief is that His happiness is based on His love for you, not your reaction to it.  God’s love for us is greater than what we are able to understand.  I understand that this seems like the easy way to explain why I believe what I do about God’s feelings of happiness towards us.  But think about it, if God’s happiness was dependant on our actions in every situation, ever, it is difficult for me to imagine Him being happy at all and I would have to assume His wrath would fully demonstrate His feelings.

In closing, if it is true that God’s merciful love and happiness reigns around and within us despite our imperfections then why love thy neighbor?  As Christians, we often use this as an out to fulfill this duty, to fulfill this law of God’s “the next time.”  However, William Barclay says this, “Paul had to remind his people that Christianity is not an excuse for refusing our obligations to our fellow human; it is a reason for fulfilling them to the utmost.”  God’s mercy is not an excuse not to act... Rather, it is the only reason we do.      

For the link to the audiobook of ScreamFree Parenting Click Here
For the link to the paperback version of ScreamFree Parenting from Amazon Click Here